Raising the Bar for Love

The way that you think about love determines what you get.  So when someone tells me, “I just want a nice man [or woman],” I ask them to increase their expectations. Just wanting a “nice man” can sniff of desperation and compromise. Love is not an arena that responds well to either. Settling is not necessary and won’t get your happy ending.

I recommend believing that you can have exactly what you want, a person who has the qualities that you desire and with whom you have crackling chemistry. Nothing less should do!

And even if there is no one in sight, even if you have disappointing dating experiences, this is no predictor of your future because you are not limited to your past. You can have high hopes for love, even when nothing is yet showing.

Upping Your Vibration: Here are some tips to raise your bar and pull yourself to the level of attracting your soulmate and nothing else

• Do anything you can to eradicate desperation and inspire hope in your heart
• Spend time every day imagining the person who would be right for you, how great your relationship will be, what they love about you and your life together
• Eradicate negative language from your dating vocabulary. No more: “dating sucks in this town,” “every woman in this town is a gold-digger,” “every man in this town is a player” or “I only attract losers.” Instead, say “I know my soulmate is on her way,” and don’t get negative when talking with friends about love
• While giving people a reasonable chance (because attraction tends to grow over time), feel free to say “no” to anything that is not right or feels like settling.This includes letting go of anyone from your past with whom you feel incomplete
• Be on the lookout for soulmates and happy couples as an example of what you can expect

When you notice you’re feeling down about love, keep this list to remind you of how to get beyond the negativity. Work on raising your sights, and you’ll be surprised how quickly love will happen as the Universe responds to your new energy!

Kathryn Alice, RScP teaches workshops all over the world on love. A licensed spiritual counselor, she led a crisis support team for six years. She is frequently published on this subject, and has led many to their love.